Good moaning! Listen very carefully, I shall say zis only once...

'Allo 'Allo! was 'fantastique'. Created by comedy legends David Croft
and Jeremy Lloyd, the charming BBC One sitcom ran for no less than
nine series, totalling eighty-five episodes over ten years (1982-1992), cementing itself as a firm favourite of the British public - the show
came a highly respectable 13th in the BBC's Britain's Best Sitcom
poll in 2004. It was also an international hit, selling to more countries
than either Monty Python's Flying Circus or Fawlty Towers.

On paper, it shouldn't have been a success. A comic farce set during
World War Two, one of the most horrific times in human history, filled
with racial stereotypes? But the show wasn't out to make fun of the
war, it was spoofing television's war dramas, particularly the 1970's
BBC1 drama Secret Army. The programme played fair by lampooning
everyone involved - the randy French, the toffee-nosed British, the
corrupt Germans and the incompetent Italians. It also helped co-writer
David Croft had a track record for creating highly popular wartime
sitcoms in Dad's Army and It Ain't Half Hot Mum.

The great strength of the show was in the casting. Gorden Kaye was
born to play the part of Rene Artois - always playing it straight and
therefore creating a truly believable character. He was backed up by
an outstanding ensemble cast, including the formidable talents of
Carmen Silvera, Vicki Michelle, Richard Marner, Arthur Bostrom,
Guy Siner, Sue Hodge, Richard Gibson, Kim Hartman, Kenneth
Connor and Jack Haig.

'Allo 'Allo! has a large international following, and is still
regularly repeated today. With its bedroom farce, accents,
double entendres, innuendos, wordplay, catchphrases,
slapstick and rather tame naughtiness, it became
harmless fun for the whole family to enjoy. And the
show itself became a real rollercoaster - the series was
deceptively simple, but with every new episode the plot
thickened, with different twists, turns and cliffhangers,
just like a soap opera. With most sitcoms you can watch
them in random order, but here you had a continually
developing story. Even the characters changed over
time, with some written out and others introduced. The
writing was incredibly clever - a perfect example of this
is how they took the obstacle of language and turned
into a rich source for humour.

We hope you'll enjoy reading through this website,
our tribute to a fine comedy series.

If you're not familiar with the series, read on for the full story...

WARNING! THIS PAGE CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE SERIES
NOTE: The synopses for series 5-9 will be revised with more details & photos in the near future.

Series 1

Meet Rene Artois, the most wanted man in occupied France. Women want his
body. The Resistance want his help. And the Nazis want his waitresses. Rene
is a café owner in the Nazi-occupied French town of Nouvion, during the
Second World War, and the harassed proprietor is not having much fun. With
the German Army in residence at the bar, Rene is risking his neck to aid the
Resistance by hiding two British airmen and a radio transmitter upstairs.
As if this wasn't enough, Rene has also got involved in hiding a (stolen)
priceless painting and a cuckoo clock for Colonel Von Strohm. All this while
having affairs with his two waitresses behind his wife's back!

Herr Flick of the Gestapo arrives in Nouvion in search of the painting of The Fallen Madonna With The Big Boobies.
The Colonel and Hans catch Rene helping the Resistance and the airmen. Knowing that Rene is hiding the
painting for them, the German officers agree to help the airmen escape to England, as long as they take the painting
with them. Once in England, the painting will be copied and then sent back. Von Strohm will give Flick the forgery
(who will in turn give it to Hitler) and keep the original hidden in Rene's cellar to sell after the war. But things
go wrong, when the British airmen fail to escape, and in fear of being caught as spies, burn the German uniforms.

The Colonel and the Captain agree to help the Resistance to blow up the railway
supply line, sothey will not have to meet their General (Von Klinkerhoffen) without
their uniforms. German troops catch them in the act, and the General orders
Rene's execution, but luckily for him Von Strohm and Hans manage to intervene,
substituting the bullets for blanks. After the staged execution, Rene now has to
pose as his own twin brother, faced with the task of faking his own funeral.

The painting and its forgery are returned by RAF plane, but the Communist
Resistance capture the parachute and take the paintings, before proceeding to
kidnap Von Strohm and Hans. Rene rescues them with a little help from
Michelle's Resistance, and Von Strohm recovers both paintings. Just when
everything seems okay, Hans mixes them up, and the Colonel accidentally
gives Herr Flick the real painting. It transpires that Flick has had the same
idea as the Colonel, and has also made a forgery. Rene and Edith attempt to sneak into Gestapo headquarters and
swap their forgery for the real painting, but a high-ranking Nazi takes the copy from them before they can get inside.

Series 2

An English agent called Crabtree is parachuted into Nouvion to assist the
Resistance.Edith discovers Rene's will, and begins to spend his money,
parading herself round the square to potential suitors. The local undertaker
Monsieur Alphonse proposes to Edith, but Rene is eager to re-marry her and
win back his claim to the cafe.Monsieur Alphonse challenges Rene to a duel
with pistols - the winner will live to marry Edith - but the two men end up
settling their differences when Michelle tells Alphonse of Rene's legendary
bravery in helping the Resistance. The undertaker agrees to withdraw his
proposal, but continues to admire Edith from afar.

Herr Flick now has not only The Fallen Madonna, but two forged copies as well. Under orders to send the
painting to Hitler, he decides to conceal the real painting inside a knockwurst in Rene’s café and send his
Fuhrer one of the forgeries. Helga, eager to share in the profits after the war, tells Von Strohm and Rene,
and swap the paintings round. She then devises a plan to blow up the train ferrying a normal sausage to Hitler,
so both Hitler will believe the original was destroyed, and Flick will think the real one is still hidden.
The RAF bomb the train, but the painting is discovered and Flick learns it was empty, and arrests Rene,
Von Strohm and Hans. Luckily, General Von Klinkerhoffen intervenes before Flick kills them.

The Resistance nearly succeeds in sending the airmen home in an air balloon,
but German troops spot it and shoot in down. General Von Klinkerhoffen takes command of Nouvion, and is not a popular man. Herr Flick plots the death of the
General by poisoned dart, with Helga assigned to do the fatal deed. The Colonel
and the Captain also want him out of the way, and plan to poison his wine with
a lethal pill. The Resistance attempt to blow him up with a Black Forest Gateau
packed with dynamite. Rene, scared of losing his business if the General dies
whilst in his cafe, foils all three plots.

Series 3

Herr Flick of the Gestapo gains an assistant, Herr Englebert Von Smallhausen,
a rather short man with a big limp. The Communist Resistance kidnaps the
sausage containing the Fallen Madonna painting and demand a ransom for it.
Rene borrows the money from Alphonse, and Von Strohm plans to ambush the kidnappers. Rene gets the painting back, but Gruber's dog causes chaos and
the Resistance make off with Alphonse's money. Rene uses forged banknotes
made by his pianist Roger Leclerc to pay off the undertaker.

Meanwhile, Flick discovers the painting was a forgery, and Rene lets Gruber in
on the secret. Things get even more confusing when it transpires that Madame
Fanny owns a priceless Van Gogh painting, which Von Klinkerhoffen promptly
steals for himself. With Gruber given both paintings, Von Strohm and Rene ask him to make two copies of each artwork,
so they can fool the General, Herr Flick and Hitler and keep the originals for themselves.

The DeGaulle Resistance, led by Michelle, attempt to send the airmen back
to England by antique airplane (with the use of elastic and Von Klinkerhoffen's
stolen lawnmower motor), but they fail when the airplane is accidentally
demolished when the car Rene is driving to stretch the elastic pulls him back,
straight into the plane. When Von Klinkerhoffen discovers airmen are hiding in
the town, he orders Von Strohm and Hans to find them. Michelle attempts to
smuggle them into the nearby POW camp via a secret tunnel while the search
is on, but things get out of hand, and several characters end up inside the
camp...

Series 4

Poor Rene is trapped inside Stalag Luft IV with his wife and both mistresses,
not to mention the two idiotic British airmen, Michelle, Von Strohm and Hans.
What's worse, Cafe Rene and its gin supply are in the unreliable hands of his
mother-in-law. Hans manages to escape, but is mistaken as an RAF pilot by
the Communist Resistance and sent to England, while Maria attempts to
post herself home and ends up stuck in Switzerland. The rest of the party
(including the airmen) make their escape back to the cafe with help from
Gruber and Helga. The Resistance provide Rene with a new waitress, Mimi
Labonq, while Von Klinkerhoffen lumbers the Colonel with a new Italian
assistant, the charismatic ladies man, Captain Alberto Bertorelli.

The Gestapo have managed to discover the Resistance's radio wavelength,
andpretend they are officers in London, in order to get some information.
When their cover is blown, Rene foolishly destroys the radio equipment. Herr
Flick then incorrectly suspects Von Klinkerhoffen of planing to assassinate
Hitler, and disguises himself as a female typist to discover details of his plan.
Von Klinkerhoffen gets wind of this and imprisons the Gestapo officer in the
chateau dungeon. Meanwhile, desperate to contact London, the cafe gang
attempt to fly the aerial attached to a kite, but only succeed in flying Mimi
across the countryside. Eventually, a new radio is delivered.

After a great deal of hard work, Gruber completes the forgeries of the
paintings, and puts them in sausages, which Rene hangs in his kitchen.

Hitler is planning to invade England, and a meeting regarding the plan is to be held at Von Klinkerhoffen's chateau.
English intelligence HQ sends a spy camera to the French Resistance so they can attempt to locate and photograph
the invasion plans, but the camera is parachuted into Monsieur Alphonse's vineyard, recently comandeered by the
Germans. Whilst working there as forced labour, the cafe gang manage to recover the spy camera, while Michelle,
Alphonse and Mimi unsuccessfully attempt to rub out the General with poison and explosives.

Series 5

Relying on a camera hidden inside a potato, a long distance duck, and of course, his unparalleled charm, Rene aids
the French Resistance in their outlandish plots to fool the Germans and end the war. But if Rene doesn't marry
Denise, the leader of the Communist Resistance, it could mean the end of him! With his trusty piano player at his
side, Rene manages to escape a giant circular saw, blast his way into the bank's vault, and poison the team of
Generals. Can Rene obtain the plans for the German invasion in time to save everyone? Or will the overbearing
passion of his female collaborators force him to save himself?

Series 6

The Germans have captured the British airmen and only Rene can save them. But not before he becomes impaled
upon a 20 foot radio tower, disguises himself as the hunchback of Notre Dame, and brokers a clandestine deal
involving a solid gold cuckoo clock and the Portrait of the Fallen Madonna with the Big You-Know-Whats.

Series 7

As if it wasn't bad enough to be shot dead by the Germans, now the resistance wants to shoot him also and he
must flee to, of all places, England! But first, he must rescue his mother-in-law, who was last seen in her bed with
Leclerc attached to a hot air balloon heading due south at 500 feet, and he must also smuggle food to the British
airmen, who have gotten themselves stuck down a drain in the middle of the town square, all while attempting
to evade the deadly singing voice of his wife Edith!

Series 8

Two years have passed. The British airmen have finally returned to England, Captain Bertorelli and his Italian
troops have gone home, and the war is going badly for the Germans. Could this mean the return to a peaceful life?
Not when Yvette announces she is pregnant! Meanwhile the Resistance plans to create a traveling propaganda radio
station, Von Klinkerhoffen has plans to assassinate Hitler, and Von Strohm and Gruber plan to sell the Fallen Madonna
painting and escape to Spain. General von Klinkerhoffen forces René and Edith to dress up as Hitler and Goering in
an effort to trap the Communist Resistance, but they are instead captured by a group of rebel German officers who
immediately sentence them to death... will Rene survive a second shooting?

Series 9

Herr Flick undergoes plastic surgery to avoid capture by the Allies, and Rene is kidnapped by Louise of the
Communist Resistance, to serve as a love slave. The Gestapo try to foil Von Klinkerhoffen's plan to execute Hitler,
whilst continuing their search for the painting of the Fallen Madonna, which Rene has misplaced. Finally,
as the war finally ends, Allied forces arrive in Nouvion to capture all of the Germans (including Flick).

Many years later, Gruber and Helga (now married) return to Nouvion with their chauffeur Von Strohm, to discover
Cafe Rene is still in business. Rene is now an old man, still having his affair with Yvette, while Edith has taken the
place of her mother in the upstairs bedroom, looked after by Mimi. Gruber tells Rene how he became an international
art dealer after the war. Rene explains that he never found the painting, when Gruber accidentally strikes the arm of the
statue and it breaks, and the rolled-up painting falls out of the concrete statue. Stunned by the sudden recovery of the
long-lost art work, everyone enters the cafe to decide how to split up the painting, which is now worth millions. Whilst
the others are distracted, Rene and Yvette grab the painting, sneak over to Gruber's car and finally elope...